Friday, February 01, 2008

Of a love long lost & Memoirs of a Geisha

I wonder if it often happens to people, when they develop an inexplicable aversion towards the things they like doing the most. Whether it is because these activities stop providing us with that pleasure over the years or because over this long while.. we are not the people anymore what we used to be. I certainly don't know..

When I look back at the time when I used to read almost anything I could get my hands on, I wonder why don't I derive such joy out of reading anymore. But every once in a long while, when I stumble upon a book which I'm actually able to finish.. I wonder if it's me who's reading the book.. or is it the book which is making me read it.

Memoirs of a Geisha.. is more than just a fascinating narrative of the life of a Geisha, as the critics claim. It certainly isn't about a life which was unusual. It's also not about unusual characters. The strength and also the essence of the book is the fact.. that behind the intriguing grandeur and subtle darkness of the subject.. lie simple people led by simple emotions in rather unusual circumstances.

The major reason which makes the book gripping however, remains to be author's entrance into a territory rather unknown & fascinating just because of its outlandish & foreign appeal. For the people who love traveling & exploring new places & new culture, the book is indeed a visual treat in some ways.

The transformation of little Chiyo chan to Nitta Sayuri covers most of the book.. while the events later on are wrapped up rather fast, especially the ending which rather looks hurried & extremely tasteless. A little girl from a little fishing village who was sold off by her father to a life of loneliness & misery.. after fighting the ordeals of pain, separation, uncertainty and suppression goes onto become a prominent Geisha.. led by a mysterious encounter with a stranger. That display of kindness actually charted her whole life and all the major events in the book. . However, the magnitude of the passion which that event ignited is rather indigestible at many occasions. But you have to give such leeway to fiction, I guess.

All the characters have this mysterious intriguing nature about them. You often wish you could know more about them & wonder about their points of view. But, the character of Mameha as Sayuri's mentor & Nobu as her suitor were the most touching. Mameha with her grace & Nobu with his crude gentleness & affection never fail to make an impression. And there's something about Pumpkin which grows onto you.

The narrative is simple & sans too much unnecessary clutter. Even when it's in the form of memoirs.. it lacks the mundaneness and innate self gratification surrounding an autobiography. It's just like somebody talking to you about the major events of his/her life. And here the author takes the cake.. and the accolades.

Triggered by the appetite for reading which was since long dormant.. I'm reading the Divine secrets of the Ya-ya sisterhood now. And I'm not liking it one bit. And I again wonder.. whether it's a good reader that makes a good book or a good book brings out a good reader in us.

Well, I'll never know.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Little food for thought..


" You know why are you so alone!" She said to him in sheer exasperation.

" Coz, you don't let anyone come close.."

"And you know why are you so alone..?" he asked smiling.


"Coz.. you do. "

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Of boredom and a khoya khoya chand..

A lazy afternoon in one of the oldest halls in India..
Lots of empty seats, and lots of desperate & not so desperate couples..
Movie starts rolling and you are glued to the screen like you are sleeping with your eyes wide open..
As the movie progresses, hush hush about how boring the flick is becomes as prominent as the dialogues..
Finally people around you start to get up and leave the hall in between..
Sonia gives a chuckle in between her yawns and waves her hand in front of my yet wide open eyes suspecting I went into a trance..
"So, how did you find the movie?", she asks grinning..
"Ummm... It depends, you know it's like.."
"why don't you straightaway say it was boring?", said a friend back home.

There could be many reasons behind someone liking a movie not everybody likes.. For one, it could be because you are a weird person with weird tastes.. or maybe cause the plot interests you no matter how poorly it's presented.. or like in my case.. you are more in awe of the emotions behind and in the film than the film itself.. More than being engrossed you are just fascinated..

Coming back to "Khoya khoya Chand", it's a good portrayal of vintage cinema, if not one of the best.
I'm not much into learning about the muck in film industry, the casting couch, the exquisite dresses, the liquor, pseudo intellectualism and its display in filmy parties..
But the tale of hope and broken promises, struggle to keep your pride and seeing it bite dust in front of your eyes, lies, deception, the two faces, love, hate, success, downfall, frustration, the giving up, the coming back.. isn't it what makes the plot of picture of every profession, heightened probably in the Page 3 world?

When you see the nubile Nikhat(Soha) looking sheepishly behind the curtains at the shooting of a song, you see dreams..
When you see the superstar Prem Kumar(Rajat Kapoor) displaying his genius off the camera, you see power..
When you see the fearless Zafar(shiney Ahuja) blatantly mocking the stereotypes, you see fire..
When you see the omnipresent Sharmal(Vinay Pathak) standing up for Zafar, you see friendship..

The story revolves around these four characters.. and in the second half you see how they go about losing everything they achieved.. changing circumstances.. changing people..

When you see tears rolling down the eyes of Zafar making a film of his dreams on his life, you see passion..
And when you see the smile on his face when this film bombs at the box office, on people asking him how hew felt on seeing his film being turned down by everyone, you see pain..
When you see him asking his girlfriend to aid him in getting producers and lashing at her on her refusal, you see weakness..
And when you see him crying in front of his woman, saying he can't take it anymore, you see what failure does to people.. and how difficult it is to hold on..

When you see Nikhat becoming a puppet to everyone she cared for, you see the price of success.. and of love..
When you see her succumbing to drinking and finally see her downfall, you see that nothing is forever..
And When you see the look in her eyes when she surrenders herself to the man she loved, you see hope.. you see redemption..

And when you are able to see that in a flick that seems to be lasting forever.. that means two things.. One, the act put up by the actors was too good.. two, you are thinking too much lately.

I slept while watching "Hazaro khwahishein aisi..", maybe because I was too tired.. or bored.. don't know. :D So can't really comment on Sudhir Mishra. Though I feel bad about it now. For a fraction of second when Om shanti Om flashes through your mind.. you see the clear difference.. of portrayal..
But then there were some things.. like it being too long..(or it just seemed to be.. don't remember) lousy last half an hour.. and a script going haywire.. which spoiled the essence of the film. Sets are beautiful.. one of the most impressive works in cinematography that I've seen in recent times. A good sketch of the cinema in 60s. Not magnanimous but yet appealing. Lovely songs and nicely placed.

Surprise package of the film is Soha.. looking gorgeous.. looking graceful.. vulnerable and her diction.. It's funny, how these stars can't speak a line of hindi without an accent off the camera and how flawless they are in front of it. I guess, that's what acting is all about..

Oh, how was the movie..?
You see, it depends..
on what you see in it..

Friday, November 02, 2007

Sin

.
The greatest sin that I ever committed.. was against - Myself,


The day I stopped asking.

Added later: Do read the comments to this post.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

I won't surrender..


However beaten it may be,
You can't keep it under..
My soul's not for keeps,
It just won't surrender..

You said I won't survive,
In your world I don't belong..
You thought I would crumble,
That I was just not that strong..

Every time I rose to fly,
You tried to tie me down..
In shallow waters of mediocrity,
You wanted me to drown..

You mocked my innocence,
laughed at my wide-eyed dreams..
you painted my world black,
When I was looking at violets & greens..

The innocence is now gone,
& I don't dream any longer..
But the desire to hold on,
Has only become stronger..

I know I made mistakes
Infact I still do..
But never will I let again,
Myself be led by you..

Though I'm yet to prove myself,
Am not scared of you anymore..
I know my moment will come,
The one I've been waiting for..

So no matter how many times I fumble,
On this road, I'll keep walking..
For there, right behind my door,
I can see happiness knocking..!

Me against the world.. or me against myself..
Against whom the fight is.. I wonder..
But I know I'll win at the end..
for till then, I just won't surrender..

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Of bicycles & tags..

Once upon a time.. when I was a kid.. ;) I used to ride a ladybird..(The bicycle silly! ;) ) For years I pedalled away to glory.. falling on rails to falling on roads, falling in mud to fracturing my bones.. and I became an expert.. at falling.

Few years later.. when I was a proud owner of a well shattered scooty, thanks to my expertise in "falling", a new bicycle was brought home for my younger sister.
"Can you still ride one?" asked my mom.
"Ahuh? I don't know, I can't. It's been years since I rode one."
"Come on. You can. People who once learn to ride, never forget. And you were so good. Get up, give it a try."

After some more nudging, frowning and raised eyebrows, I finally got up & took the seat. My mom gave me a reassuring smile. Two 360 degrees revolution of the damned wheels, n I fell flat on the floor! I didn't touch the thing again.

Today, when I was given this tag by not one but two of my greatest chums, I felt quite the same way as when I touched that cycle.. for after months of absence from the blogging scene, I was sure that no matter how hard I tried I couldn't write again.. So, after some nudging, frowning, raised eyebrows and you-were-so-good speech, I'm ready to ride again.. and to fall. :)

Umang, Neel n Nikki, this crap is for you! :-*

1. Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it.

There's a 3 inch long 2 inch wide scar on my left arm which I have from the time I had just started to sit. It was when my little, ingenious self found an interesting gaming partner in a container containing boiling milk. Rest is left to the imagination. :P Doodh ki jali hui hoon.. isiliye chhachh bhi fook fook ke peeti hoon.. :P :P

2. What does your phone look like?

Like a happy happy pet in the company of a large hearted & loving owner. Takes an hour to accept the enhancement.. has fallen a hundred times.. doesn't ring at its own will.. battery keeps on trying to fall out.. stickers are gone.. has to be hit on wall to make its speakers work.. body's a little..ehm.. These things kept aside.. my babyy is just doing fine. :)

3. What is on the walls of your bedroom?

You mean here in hostel? Nothing, a sick white paint & we have green doors you know, to give us the hospital feel. They are actually making doctors out of engineers. ;) We aren't allowed to put anything on the walls so as to not to blemish the fair n lovely texture of the walls. I once made a friend gift me a king size poster of Will smith on my birthday which I put up behind my room's door so that no one finds out, real fun was when once I heard hush-hush n giggling sounds coming from my room, barging in to find 4 maids crowded near it like school girls. Has to be one of the funniest incidents of my life!
At home.. it's the paintings I made.. on the walls. I'm good with brush.. really. :P

4. What is your current desktop picture?

A Ganesha wallpaper it was before the CPU was sent to a hardware shop a month ago from where it hasn't yet returned.

5. Do you believe in gay marriage?

Yes. Every human being has a right to love, be loved and consummate that relationship into marriage with anyone he/she chooses to.

6. What do you want more than anything right now?

A watermelon. :P
Okay, patience and will power to stick to & finish anything I start.

7. What time were you born?

Sometime between wee hours of the morning and midnight.
That's how my mom remembers it. ;)

8. Are your parents still together?

Yes. They are. Still together n still young n still in love n still the best of friends n still incompatible. ;)

9. Last person who made you cry?

Abhishek Bachhan.. when he got married.. ;)

10. What is your favorite perfume / cologne?

I'm the kind of person you'll find with almost 6 bottles in her hands asking the little dark shopboys, "Bhaiyya, in mei se kaun sa sabse achha hai??" :-P A few years ago, had found one particular fragrance suiting my persona, I absolutely loved the tester. The company went out-of-business the next day. Stopped using Johnson's baby powder when someone said "Tum ab tak baby powder lagaati ho?" :- Now I just keep on experimenting with talcs n stuff. Using fa these days n Kind of love Amitabh bachhan lomani.

11. What kind of hair/eye colour do you like in the opposite sex?

Pink! I have a thing for guys with pink hair n purple eyes. D'oh!

12. What are you listening to?

The voices.. inside my head. :)

13. Do you get scared of the dark?

No. Can't say the same for dark though. ;)

14. Do you like pain killers?

It's like asking a student like me a night before exam- "Hey you, do you like books?" Ofcourse, I don't. But I'll still pick them up if I want to pass. If the pain becomes unbearable, I'll take one. Otherwise, why bother.

15. Are you too shy to ask someone out?

I often wonder if shyness is actually an euphemism for fear of rejection or for pride.
In either case, yes.

16. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?

Dominoes' cheese burst Pizza with the free garlic bread & cheese dip.

17. Who was the last person who made you mad?

Never mind! I get angry too easily and too often.

18. Who was the last person who made you smile?

VJ & KS, when they promised me two temptations.. Yippee!! :D :D :D

19. Is someone in love with you?

Someone knows better! ;)
Jokes apart, I seriously think our pet turtle is in love with me.. Everytime I go home n take it out of water to play it curls itself up inside its shell out of shyness.. He's pretty cool with everyone at home, but as soon as I pick him up n hold him upside down.. it just refuses to face me.. Dunno why! :">


Phew!! Finally done & over with! Damn, am I talkative? :D
Okay I pass on this tag to Paras. Rest anyone can take up this tag if you have lot of idle time like I do.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

All in the name of love...


I guess am jinxed... Coz People around me keep falling in love.. :D
n sadly... out of it...

I'll be honest.. I don't understand love.. atleast, not the way these people do.. My understanding is limited to what I've seen through their eyes.. n what I've felt.. through their pain..

This poem goes out to them.. n to all those who loved n love.. Their experiences in my words.. Being one eternal optimist, I hate to admit it.. But I know.. it's all true.. :)

When your heart aches for no reason,
& you feel your life stinks,
When happiness looks elusive
& your eyes well up with tears..

When you start shrinking from the world
& you think no one would understand,
When all you do is daydream
& stare at the phone since it last rang..

When you are everywhere yet nowhere
& night forces you to sleep,
When all pleasures look shallow
& something cries within you deep..

When you find yourself helpless
at the way things are going,
When you lock yourself up in your room
While whole world's out enjoying..

When everything reminds of someone
& you start to lose your focus,
When melody loses a meaning for you
& everything tests your patience..

This is the dark side of love
Don't go by its name,
Love's not always beautiful
as some lucky ones might claim..

For sometimes it leaves your heart
with so profound a pain,
That every wordly pleasure
to you looks mundane..

All I want to say is that
Give your heart away with care,
for no matter how many years go by
The scars are always there!!